Monthly Archives: February 2013

Hokey Pokey

In existentialist Hokey Pokey, you must determine for yourself what it’s all about.

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal.

There Is Little Value To Being Right

This quote was written in the context of software engineering, but is just as applicable to many theology arguments I’ve heard. The author’s boss once pointed out that people can hold differing opinions about many topics without anyone’s “rightness” making a difference to the success of a project. A manager must carefully select the topics he was willing to fight for versus topics that boiled down to an irrelevant difference of opinion. Allowing people to “win” the arguments where opinions differ but you don’t really have anything at stake makes for better and more productive relationships.

At the end of the day, there is very little value to being right. You don’t acquire rightness points and just how frequently you are right doesn’t end up on your resume. What actually matters are the relationships you have. You can only go as far as the people who want to communicate with you. Being right actually hurts if it interferes with your ability to interact with people. As my former manager said, you should definitely know what is important to you and be willing to fight for it. But let go of the pedantic points you are trying to make – those just don’t matter.

via Being right doesn’t matter | NCZOnline.

Still Loved If You Don’t

A blog post discussing how people change in their opinions about habits, or politics, or religion.

I would go so far as to say that people are more likely to change when they know they will still be loved if they don’t. You can’t compel or threaten people into change. That might lead to temporarily modified behavior but not true inner and outer life change. Love is what changes people. We need to know that the relationship, and the love that binds it together, is bigger than a particular issue, whether personal or political. We need to have people who will let us process and work through our challenges, doubts, and struggles without scorning or judging us if we don’t agree with them. We need people who will respect our otherness and not try to achieve some forced, superficial conformity. We need people who will listen to us and let us be where we currently rather are, rather than impatiently trying to rush us to where they would like us to be.

via Adam S. McHugh: How do people change?.

A Pound of Flesh, a Pint of Blood

This little bit from William James is resonating with me today. Describing the world as seen by those people he calls “sick souls” he says:

So the world stamps us at every turn. We strew it with our blunders, our misdeeds, our lost opportunities, with all the memorials of our inadequacy to our vocation. And with what a damning emphasis does it then blot us out! No easy fine, no mere apology or formal expiation, will satisfy the world’s demands, but every pound of flesh exacted is soaked with all its blood.

via “The Healthy-Minded & Sick Soul” — Philosophical Society.