I’m a stay-at-home dad.
Even though I used it myself just now, I don’t like the term “stay-at-home” dad. It’s too many syllables and the stay-at-home part is not really accurate. Stay-at-home moms and dads are always dragging kids and cups and bottles and extra diapers into the van to visit the grocery store, doctors office, or gym. (When’s the last time you administered your toddler’s tetanus shot from the comfort of your own home? Do you know how many innoculations a kid gets by the time she’s 3 years old?)
A stay-at-home mom has the option of calling herself a housewife. If she does then everyone knows what she means. It’s also a crisp two syllables, though for some the term still carries too much baggage from the days when the words woman and housewife were almost synonymous.
The stay-at-home dad can try using the term househusband but it’s not so crisp as housewife due to the extra syllable and double exhale needed for the repeated ‘h’ sound.
So the term “stay-at-home” dad persists in colloquial usage and I persist in not liking the term. But when someone asks what I do for a living I have to tell them something, and so I had to settle on a moniker I’d use for my household-running, care-giving occupation. Which did I like best? Stay-at-home Dad, House Dad, House Husband? I decided that Rebel Dad has it right:
One of my early problems had to do with nomenclature. There is no good way to refer to a father who serves as primary caregiver.
So I decided to do what he did: make something up. The term rebel dad is much better than stay-at-home dad. It’s descriptive: a rebel is someone who isn’t doing something in the typical way, just like Rebel Dad isn’t fathering in the typical father role.
But I prefer the term radical over rebel to describe what I’m doing. Rebel makes me think of someone trying to overthrow the current system. Radical makes me think of someone doing their own thing, even pushing the bounds of tradition if necessary.
According to Merriam-Webster radical means:
something “marked by a considerable departure from the … traditional.”
That’s what I’m doing at home with my kids. Daddy doesn’t just come home after work to spank whoever has been bad that day: daddy potty trains the kids all day long and then makes dinner before tucking them into bed.
But for the sake of pith I take the abbreviating one step further and turn Radical Dad into Rad Dad.