This is my question! What do I fear? Everything.
I fear Everything!
I fear dying. I fear cancer. I fear the long, terrible, scary procedures I would undergo if I got cancer.
I fear what I don’t understand. I fear every pain in my body. Every dull ache is deep bone cancer; every bruise or mole that I can’t remember is leprosy or melanoma; every cramp is food poisoning or deep vein thrombosis.
I fear randomness: the random shooting; the random carjacking; the wrong place at the wrong time.
I fear eating from tin cans with dents; potato chip bags that don’t hold air; yogurt cups without safety foil beneath the plastic lid; any kind of medicine because Tylenol once had cyanide in it.
I fear being out of control. I fear things that might “just happen” to me. I fear that my food has been poisoned so I want to be assured through safe packaging and rigorous, ritualistic preparation processes.
I fear that I already have some deadly illness and the next symptom may be the one that lets me in on the secret and begins an ever-accelerating downward spiral of frightening treatments and bewildering real life medical nightmares.
I worry about what happens when I must suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.
I fear the random, terrible fate.