What do you Love?
I love being smart. I love being looked up to as a guy who has his shit together. I’d love to be the smartest guy in the room; the stillest water running deepest; the guy whose response is always so completely not what you thought it was going to be but still so incredibly thought-provoking that you can’t believe anyone’s mind works like that.
I’m not that guy. I know a guy like that, but I ain’t him.
I’m not smart, but due to a few successes in my early education I believed that I was smarter than most people all the way thru jr. and sr. high school. I’ve long since disabused my rational mind of the notion that I’m smarter than most people, but it’s a permanent part of my psyche to still think that I am.
So, basically, I love having my shit together. Shitful togetherness! I would love to have absolutely no chinks in my armor.
What do you Hate?
I hate to be wrong. I hate to be looked down upon. I hate being embarrassed. I hate to admit that I have no idea what you’re talking about; and could you, Dr. Med-School, please tell me what periorbital cellulitis is because you’ve mentioned it twice now as if I’m already supposed to know some medical term that you went to med. school to learn? Yet somehow I feel like the stupid one for not having paid $260,000 to learn a fancy term for a swollen eyelid.
I hate to be embarrassed. I hate to look stupid. I hate to ask questions that I think may possibly make me look stupid. Stupid is in the eye of the beholder and I constantly think I’m either stupid or else on the verge of being beheld that way.
Hate that.
What do you hope for, want, or crave?
I want to be validated. You should tell me I’m valuable…I shouldn’t have to!
In high school there were the cool kids. I was not one of them, but I always wanted to be with them. It was coolness by proximity. I never felt cool, but if the cool kids liked me then I must be cool anyway. “I wonder what the cool kids are doing? None of them are here. I’d better go find them.”
Now I crave to be a cool kid. Cool Adult. Cool parent. Cool housekeeper. Cool beer drinker. Cool socialite. Cool bass player. Cool Christian. Cool blogger.