What I am not

Thomas Merton, via Tim Suttle’s blog:

What do I fear most? Forgetting and ignorance of the inmost truth of my being. To forget who I am, to be lost in what I am not, to fail my own inner truth, to get carried away in what is not true to me, what is outside me, what imposes itself on me from outside…

via The Basic Fear that Dominates Your Life Far More Than You Realize.

As a person who suffers hugely with fears of failed competence, the line that resonates deeply with me is getting “lost in what I am not” and not living up to what’s actually true about me.