If I don’t have an erection, make me a sandwich.

Comedian on XM Radio saying that men have only two emotions: hungry and horny.

My real life isn’t as glamorous as my webpage make it seem.

Leela, Futurama

Mommies and cows that are girl cows make milk.

Cora

Mentioning Jesus in your speech is small government. Doing what Jesus asked is big government.

Stephen Colbert, The Colbert Report

Do your worst, as I will do mine.

Edmond Dantes, The Count of Monte Cristo

Put your manhood where your mouth is.

Stephen Colbert, The Colbert Report

It’s nice to pleasure your acquaintance.

Glenn Quagmire, Family Guy

In God’s eyes everybody’s hot!

Lyrics from a song on Family Guy

Filing is like doing nothing, taken to the next level.

Cash Peters, MarketPlace

When life gives you scurvy, make lemonade.

Seen on a tee shirt.