Jason Coleman

I love to drink and I love to sing. But most people like to hear me drink.

Georgie B. giving the audience what it wants at the Carioca Cafe.

Depression is just anger without enthusiasm. It’s an empty beer bottle with no one worth throwing it at.

Norma M., her seething rage barely contained by apathy at the Cricket on the Hill.

We’ve had enough to drink. Now let’s have too much.

Mike C., 40, raising the bar at the Ale House in Tacoma.

My baby left me, and she didn’t tell me what I did wrong.

Ike Turner

Sometimes I think we’re alone. Sometimes I think we’re not. In either case, the thought is staggering.

R. Buckminster Fuller

You know you’re a drunkard when…

• You measure time by drinks, as in: “Hold on a shot, the movie doesn’t start for another four beers.”
• You hate it when your lightweight drinking buddies get so drunk you can barely see them.

• You think the only thing worse than warm flat keg beer on Sunday is no warm flat keg beer on Sunday.

Modern Drunkard Magazine

What the hell is a radish anyway? It’s like an apple did it with an onion.

Nelson, The Simpsons

High impact lead poisoning.

A prosecutor on NPR, using a euphemism for being shot.

As captain of this vessel the terrible burden of naming a limbo contest winner is mine and mine alone.

Zap Brannigan, Futurama

Oh cruel fate, to be thusly boned. Ask not for whom the bone bones: it bones for thee.

Bender, Futurama